The Wrong Assumption

What does Katie understand? It’s a question I would pay a million dollars to answer. My biggest fear is that she understands more than I realize and that I talk below her level.

Most people who don’t know Katie well, either don’t talk to her, talk to her like a baby or talk really loud as if this will somehow help her understand more  clearly. I am not offended by this at all, I just try to explain that Katie does understand what we are saying. I know this because she absolutely responds to the people in her life that take the time to get to know her, the ones who talk to her like any other 11 year old. image1 (2) When these people come around she lights up. It’s almost like she is saying, “Finally someone is taking the time to talk to me.”image2 (1)

I also know she understands because she nods or shakes her head when asked a yes or no question. When we hold up two colors and ask her to pick a certain one she almost always picks the correct one. She does the same with the letters in her name and various objects. She is in there, her brain is functioning. I think so often when we see people like Katie we just assume their brain just doesn’t work. Katie has a friend named Jerimiah who he has Cerebral Palsy, he recently started using a Dynavox Communication device. Just the other day he grabbed my arm so I stopped and said, “How are you today, Jeremiah?” It took him about 4 minutes to use the sensor on his forehead to select the correct response on his computer screen. After about 2 minutes, I admit I thought he was going in circles with his answers, but finally there it was as beautiful as ever…his response, “I’m good, how are you?”

When we assume things about others we most likely short change them.  Katie is teaching me this and because of her I try to think about this with every person I encounter. Like the homeless person on the side of the road, an old friend who has taken a wrong turn in life, a neighbors daughter who is hooked on drugs, the older person who is driving slow blocking traffic. These people are in front of me for a reason. Almost like a test. Will I look past them because they are not important to me, because they don’t understand anyway? Or will I take the time to assume they know more than I could ever imagine? When we judge others and withhold our love from them, we are doing it to Jesus.
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“When the son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another…Then the king will say to those on his right, Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the Kingdom prepared for you…For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me…Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me…Then he will say to those on his left, Depart from me, you accursed, into eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels…Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.” Matthew 25:31-46  

Every person on this earth is given breath by God so they are worth something. I know when people look past Katie and don’t take the time to know her, it hurts God. He put her here for a reason and one of those reasons is to teach us that things are not always what they seem. It’s the same with people we assume are just bad, like criminals  or people who just make bad choices. Yes, people make bad choices, but everyone has a reason they do what they do. Not an excuse, I’m not saying they should be allowed to do bad things. But maybe they have never been loved by anyone, not even their parents. Maybe crime is all they have ever been taught, it’s expected of them to live that life of crime. But if we take the time to show love, show them they are worth something maybe we can affect their life. One of the corporal works of mercy is visiting the imprisoned.

Also with people who are currently displaced. We recently made care packages in our MOMS group at church. We filled large ziplock bags with crackers, water, chapstick, wipes, toothbrushes and more, so we can give them to people on the side of the road who are asking for money. But I think the most important thing we included was a personal note saying, “You are worth something, you matter to me, you are loved and I am praying for you.”

20141019-DSC_0416I talk to Katie differently than I did 5 years ago. Partly because I’ve seen her progression, but mostly because I now see Christ in her. I see how He uses her to change people. She is worth so much more than I can ever imagine.

4 thoughts on “The Wrong Assumption

  1. Michelle @ WRSA

    You REALLY need to put all of this into a book. So many people would benefit from your experiences with Katie! I LOVE reading it, and look forward to the next one with great anticipation. I have been in your shoes, but you put it into words so much better than I ever could. May God continue to bless you and each member of your family!

    Reply
    1. Frances Blake

      I agree…write a book. We all need to remember how precious all life is and the importance to
      acknowledge each person. Thank you for sharing.

      Reply
  2. Ashley Hardy

    Beautifully said as always! Have you ever read My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor. It’s one of my favorite books. She has a stroke and loses functionality of one side of her brain. She discusses the energy she feels from people caring for her in the hospital. If they are not having a good day or are not focusing on her when engaging with her, she feels it and it affects her deeply. Conversely, those who are positive and pay attention to her while performing their tasks with her provide her positive energy and feelings. Your post made me think of that part of the book. Thank you for your thoughtful and thought provoking words. Merry Christmas. Ashley H.

    Reply
  3. Natalie Brinkman

    So I shared a book that I had read with Cindy a few years back and continue to think of Katie when I reflect on the notes I took from this book. It’s called Strange Son by Portia Iverson ( I think that’s it, it has been several years). If you have a non verbal special needs child, it’s a great read, but if you don’t, read it anyway, maybe you will meet such a child. Cindy thank you so much for your words, you truly have a very special gift in your writing, but most of all in perfect Katie! Love you dearly

    Reply

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