She was still so frail at 20 days old. She weighed only 3 pounds, wires lined her face and she slept most of the time. 
I had my concerns, but I still had so much hope for a normal life. When the neonatologist made his rounds I said, “Katie is not taking a bottle like the other babies, I’m beginning to worry”. I fully expected him to say, “Don’t worry, your baby is perfectly healthy.” But the words that fell from his mouth shattered my world.
“I think your daughter has a neurological condition, she will likely go home on a feeding tube and oxygen. But you are a smart lady, YOU WILL BE FINE.” He was so matter of fact, as if his words weren’t cutting through me like a knife. I couldn’t speak, I could barley breathe, I was in complete shock. During the following weeks it was my mission to prove him wrong, as if his words determined the future. I would interrogate every nurse wanting to know their opinion, some agreed with the doctor others did not, but they all said SHE IS GOING TO BE FINE.
Those words again. What did FINE mean? Back then it meant playing hide and seek, the pitter patter of tiny feet running through my house, cheerios thrown by the handful to the floor…it meant things would be the way I had always imagined they would be. His words destroyed that because I was not FINE with oxygen or a feeding tube or whatever else came with the neurological condition he so willingly threw our way.
The unknown nearly drove me crazy. All the genetic testing results were FINE. For at least 8 months we lived that FINE roller coaster. The words “She is going to be FINE” came at me like bullets from a gun…EVERYONE said it because truly they didn’t know what else to say. But guess what? Katie is FINE, I am FINE, and my perfect little family is FINE.
You must have heard the saying “God is late but never https://unica-web.com/filmtitel.pdf cialis generika too late.” Jeff and Leena had a child at 60, really a miracle, but it is true. They also trigger the production of cGMP molecules that help the blood to make its levitra online canada route towards the penile region & rejuvenate the sessions of copulation. This pill gives it a chance to unica-web.com sildenafil canada pharmacy client achieves sexual fulfillment without offer ascent to any intricacies. The jelly costs are even less expensive. viagra free
So to the Neonatologist I would say, “Thank you! Thank you for your honesty and for respecting me enough to tell me I was going to be FINE. You didn’t know her prognosis for sure, you could have beat around he bush and ordered more tests or told me to wait and see, but you simply said what had to be said.” And to the “brand-spanking-new-first-time-mommy-me” I would define the word FINE.
Today FINE means loving my daughter for exactly who she is. FINE means really bad seizures, tube feedings, IEP’s, and fear. But it also means success with a new communication device, bright smiles and happy days. You see, FINE is knowing that no matter what happens in life God has you in the palm of His hand. FINE means Katie is exactly who God wanted her to be, a pure and sinless soul who brings people closer to Him. In this world our plan is not always the plan God has for us. His FINE is so much better, so much richer…His FINE is perfect.
Well said… Beautiful
Bob, my husband , and I have a child exactly like Katie. We kept her at home in spite of all the professionals telling us she needed to be in a special home. However, at 13 she became so heavy we could not lift her. It was also having a detrimental affect on our other 5 children. So, we had to make the hardest decision ever, we put our precious one in a home, The Ann Stork Center in Ft. Lauderdale. Bob had started traveling and there was just no way I could take 24/7 care of Michelle and give our other 5 the time, love and attention they needed . It was so painful and we cried a lot. Michelle is now 44 years and doing just great, well as great as one could ever expect with her condition. We see here about 8 times a year, for we are now old and live in the GA mountains. She has never known who we or her siblings are. Now and for all these years, she has had expert speech therapy, pulmonary therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy. She continues to do patterning and yells out but that’s about all. So now, at 73 we know, for our entire family, we did as God would want us to, the best for all. When we are gone she will be cared for with excellent full nursing and medical care the rest of her life. Just another way some are forced to give up a child to save 7 other people and still have the comfort of knowing she is always in caring, expert hands. We could never afford to do even half of this had she remained at home, but, she is and always well be in our hearts and prayers. Yes, of course we still cry, we still miss her terribly, but for us, we know in our hearts we
did the right thing.
Bob, my husband , and I have a child exactly like Katie. We kept her at home in spite of all the professionals telling us she needed to be in a special home. However, at 13 she became so heavy we could not lift her. It was also having a detrimental affect on our other 5 children. So, we had to make the hardest decision ever, we put our precious one in a home, The Ann Stork Center in Ft. Lauderdale. Bob had started traveling and there was just no way I could take 24/7 care of Michelle and give our other 5 the time, love and attention they needed . It was so painful and we cried a lot. Michelle is now 44 years and doing just great, well as great as one could ever expect with her condition. We see here about 8 times a year, for we are now old and live in the GA mountains. She has never known who we or her siblings are. Now and for all these years, she has had expert speech therapy, pulmonary therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy. She continues to do patterning and yells out but that’s about all. So now, at 73 we know, for our entire family, we did as God would want us to, the best for all. When we are gone she will be cared for with excellent full nursing and medical care the rest of her life. Just another way some are forced to give up a child to save 7 other people and still have the comfort of knowing she is always in caring, expert hands. We could never afford to do even half of this had she remained at home, but, she is and always well be in our hearts and prayers. Yes, of course we still cry, we still miss her terribly, but for us, we know in our hearts we
did the right thing.
Thank you for sharing! I know it must have been a difficult decision, but God is taking care of her.
Bob, my husband , and I have a child exactly like Katie. We kept her at home in spite of all the professionals telling us she needed to be in a special home. However, at 13 she became so heavy we could not lift her. It was also having a detrimental affect on our other 5 children. So, we had to make the hardest decision ever, we put our precious one in a home, The Ann Stork Center in Ft. Lauderdale. Bob had started traveling and there was just no way I could take 24/7 care of Michelle and give our other 5 the time, love and attention they needed . It was so painful and we cried a lot. Michelle is now 44 years and doing just great, well as great as one could ever expect with her condition. We see here about 8 times a year, for we are now old and live in the GA mountains. She has never known who we or her siblings are. Now and for all these years, she has had expert speech therapy, pulmonary therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy. She continues to do patterning and yells out but that’s about all. So now, at 73 we know, for our entire family, we did as God would want us to, the best for all. When we are gone she will be cared for with excellent full nursing and medical care the rest of her life. Just another way some are forced to give up a child to save 7 other people and still have the comfort of knowing she is always in caring, expert hands. We could never afford to do even half of this had she remained at home, but, she is and always well be in our hearts and prayers. Yes, of course we still cry, we still miss her terribly, but for us, we know in our hearts we
did the right thing.