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Her Purpose

When Katie smiles ear to ear it is like a piece of heaven on earth. Her eyes lock with mine and she beams, she reaches up to grab me and the world literally stops. I become truly present in that moment because I know it won’t last long. image1 (1)

In these moments Katie’s eyes say so much. She is saying, “I love you mommy! I am happy! You are doing enough for me! I know you love me!” She is saying all the things I have longed to hear for 11 years. I always say, “I love you, Katie!” over and over because in that moment, when she is more present, that is all I want her to hear. These moments can only be described as God entering my world.

I was reading a Lenten devotional last week about the Transfiguration, it reminded me of these moments with Katie.

“After six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light.” Matthew 17:1-2

Father Robert Barron says the bright white signifies a divine beauty that is only seen on occasion in this world.  To me the moments with Katie are divine beauty. photo (7) I am trying to describe these “moments” but the feeling that overcomes me is indescribable. It is one moment in time where everything just feels perfect, I feel consumed with love like I have never felt before. That is her purpose on this earth, to show us that greater things are to come, much greater than this world could ever provide. I know that is God’s love shining through my precious Katie.
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Like Peter I want the moment to last forever, I  don’t want to go back to ordinary life where Katie is distant.

“Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” Luke 9:33

Peter didn’t want that divine moment to pass, but the passage continues with “But he did not know what he was saying.” Father Barron says it is not the point to stay in these mystical moments, instead…“It is to become radiant with divine light so as to share it with the world.”

So often children like Katie are discounted, overlooked and undervalued. God gives the world  image (18)special children for very specific reasons.  I would not have chosen this life 11 years ago, but today knowing what I know, I would. Yes, it is difficult, and sometimes at night I cry because of the extreme challenges we face. But way more often than that I go to bed with a grateful heart, thanking God for choosing me to be a part of His beautiful plan. Katie’s simple smile has a purpose, if we stop to notice her we soak up the message that God is great and eternity with Him is more than we can imagine, then we spread this divine love.