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Serve One Another

As I cared for Katie this week, who was home from school not feeling so great, I came across scripture that spoke to me. She was having one of her days, just rocking back and forth crying inconsolably. It is so sad to watch because she is uncomfortable, but can’t tell me why. Is she hungry? Is she cold? Is her stomach hurting? So I spend the day attempting to fix all those problems to no avail. This is one of those times I just want to run and hide, but I can’t…I am her mother.

Whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:26-28

Caring for Katie has transformed my spiritual life and this message from Jesus to His apostles is a huge clue why. It’s because Andy and I serve her every day. We dress her, we bathe her, we brush her teeth, we change her diaper, we feed her, all of these things once seemed like a burden to me, but now I know they are actually my gifts from God. He calls us to serve one another, to put others needs and wants above our own, but that is difficult to do. If Katie was a healthy self-sufficient 12 year old who knows how often I would be serving others. image5 (1)But God gave me an opportunity to do it every day for the rest of her life. When I look at it that way, it is a great privilege.

I believe that once I understood this teaching my perspective on being Katie’s mommy completely changed. God blesses those who serve others and when my heart is grateful rather than disgruntled, I am open to His graces. When it’s just me and Katie I care for her out of complete love because I know she can’t say thank you. But often after a long day I want to hear the words that I’ve done good, so I seek it from others. Why? Because I’m human. I learned at an early age it feels good to hear people say nice things about you, but that’s just my ego. Jesus wants us to be humble and to do all things for God alone.
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“Human recognition is passing; it doesn’t even last a lifetime. Even in heaven human recognition will be useless-our eyes will be fixed on God, not on each other or ourselves. However, we do know by faith that God will reward us in heaven according to our merits. He will exalt us for serving others, especially when we bring others to love and serve him.” Regnum Christi Feb. 24th, 2016

We are all called to serve others. Remember the parable of Lazarus and the rich man. Lazarus was a poor man who sat at the rich man’s door begging for just a morsel of food, but the rich man did nothing. When they both died Lazarus went to heaven and the rich man went to hades. Abraham told the rich man that his life of comfort was now reversed and so was Lazarus’ life of torment. We have to share our gifts with others.

We are weak when we are alone, without God in our hearts we grow weary and serving others just does not seem possible. But when we discover the supernatural power that God provides service flows so beautifully.image1 (12) We also realize it is not something we can boast about because to God be all glory. Every day I have a choice, I can grumble about the extra work I have to do or I can thank God realizing not everyone gets the chance to love another human being in such a special way.

Her Purpose

When Katie smiles ear to ear it is like a piece of heaven on earth. Her eyes lock with mine and she beams, she reaches up to grab me and the world literally stops. I become truly present in that moment because I know it won’t last long. image1 (1)

In these moments Katie’s eyes say so much. She is saying, “I love you mommy! I am happy! You are doing enough for me! I know you love me!” She is saying all the things I have longed to hear for 11 years. I always say, “I love you, Katie!” over and over because in that moment, when she is more present, that is all I want her to hear. These moments can only be described as God entering my world.

I was reading a Lenten devotional last week about the Transfiguration, it reminded me of these moments with Katie.

“After six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light.” Matthew 17:1-2

Father Robert Barron says the bright white signifies a divine beauty that is only seen on occasion in this world.  To me the moments with Katie are divine beauty. photo (7) I am trying to describe these “moments” but the feeling that overcomes me is indescribable. It is one moment in time where everything just feels perfect, I feel consumed with love like I have never felt before. That is her purpose on this earth, to show us that greater things are to come, much greater than this world could ever provide. I know that is God’s love shining through my precious Katie.
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Like Peter I want the moment to last forever, I  don’t want to go back to ordinary life where Katie is distant.

“Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” Luke 9:33

Peter didn’t want that divine moment to pass, but the passage continues with “But he did not know what he was saying.” Father Barron says it is not the point to stay in these mystical moments, instead…“It is to become radiant with divine light so as to share it with the world.”

So often children like Katie are discounted, overlooked and undervalued. God gives the world  image (18)special children for very specific reasons.  I would not have chosen this life 11 years ago, but today knowing what I know, I would. Yes, it is difficult, and sometimes at night I cry because of the extreme challenges we face. But way more often than that I go to bed with a grateful heart, thanking God for choosing me to be a part of His beautiful plan. Katie’s simple smile has a purpose, if we stop to notice her we soak up the message that God is great and eternity with Him is more than we can imagine, then we spread this divine love.